Virtual SlotCars VSC is a game that allows you to accurately simulate the Consumer and Pro Slot Car racing environment. Play single or multiplayer, fully customise your cars, create your own tracks, and race at speeds in excess of 70km/h with up to 8. Computers with 8-bit graphics showcase each pixel with 8-bits or one byte. The maximal number of colours displayed on the screen with 8-bit graphics is 256 while 16-bit graphics display 65.536, and 32-bit 16.777,215 colours. Not only were 8-bit graphics restricted by the colour pallet, but the resolution as well.
Nintendo has a history of aggressive censorship, but occasionally some 8-bit nudity slipped past their watchful eye.
Nudity and video games have never really mixed.
Sure, since even the Atari days, people have integrated sex into video games (games like Custer’s Revenge and Burning Desire featured blocky characters doin’ it). The Leisure Suit Larry games took double entendres to a level that would make a Three’s Company writer say, “Whoa, slow down.” And in today’s modern video games, kids can take a quick break from committing grand theft auto to rape a prostitute, so that’s cool.
But while sex has found a smooth integration with video games… nudity has not. My theory: Older video games were too pixelated and/or cartoonish to be sexy… and any nudity in modern video games would hit the uncanny valley. (They even discussed that on an old episode of 30 Rock.)
Yet that hasn’t stopped anyone from trying.
Here are the finest 11 nude moments from old school NES games. In theory, this list might be not safe for work… though these screenshots are about 500 miles away from actual nudity.
1 | Taboo: The Sixth Sense
Long before the sixth sense was associated with Mischa Barton vomiting brown milk onto Bruce Willis the Friendly Ghost, it was the subtitle of an aggressively mediocre Nintendo game.
Taboo: The Sixth Sense was a tarot reading “game” for NES. There wasn’t any action or gameplay or anything; it would just give you a quick, generic tarot card reading. No one would ever have spoken about it again, if not for the nudity.
Taboo has the distinction of having the most blatant nudity of any game that was given the “Nintendo Seal of Approval” by the higher-ups. (More on their aggressive censorship policies to come in this list.) One of the tarot cards featured a back view of a nude man and woman.
And another tarot card featured, from what I can see below, a very pixelated view of the chick from Total Recall.
2 | Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse
Nintendo has, historically, worked its little Pacific Northwestian ass off to be a catcher in the rye for American video gamers. With Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse, they took nudity out of the Japanese and European versions of the game before it could hit the U.S. market.
Above are two side-by-side comparisons (via GamesRadar) comparing the overseas and U.S. versions of Castlevania III.
In the first one, you can see they decided to give Medusa a mastectomy… turning her into a buff, snake-haired pink man. And in the second one, they decided a topless statue wasn’t artistic enough to remain that way, so they covered her up. I guess if you’re gonna censor Itchy and Scratchy you’ve got to censor her too.
3 | Kid Icarus
While Castlevania III got the full-on censorship treatment, a few years earlier, Kid Icarus managed to slip almost the same thing past the watchdogs.
(The skeptic in me says “Well, Kid Icarus was produced by Nintendo and Castlevania was produced by a third-party, so you can guess which one got the benefit of the doubt.” The skeptic in me also thinks that the government secretly infected Magic Johnson with AIDS to put a famous face on the disease, though, so perhaps we shouldn’t give the skeptic in me too much credence.)
Above is a screenshot from Kid Icarus where a few topless Venus de Milos (not the gummi version) managed to make the final cut.
I’ve also included an even more scandalous piece of Kid Icarus nudity — in the instruction manual, where they list the various enemies in the game, there’s a blatantly bare-breasted cartoon of a character called “Syren.” Sure, her bare breasts are blue, but that doesn’t make them any less sexualized. (I mean, let’s be honest: When you were watching Avatar, you kinda hoped James Cameron would give you full-frontal on one of his blue giantesses, right?)
4 | Code Name: Viper
I never played this game, but, apparently, in the opening sequence, you take your marching orders while getting your Porky Pig on. One could argue that those are supposed to be khakis, but that’s so much less fun.
5 | River City Ransom
Another case where, somehow, total nudity managed to elude the higher-ups at Nintendo. Here, when you pop into the sauna, they show you toweling off, totally nude, from behind.
I would’ve given Technos, the makers of this game, eternal credit if they’d managed to also slip a glory hole into this scene at Pop’s Health Club. Missed opportunity, company that went out of business 14 years ago!
6 | Monster Party
You know it’s a monster party — and not a nice, regular party — when you’ve got to fight a pair of legs with either (1) an 8-bit vagina (2) an 8-bit anus or (3) Ken-like genitalia. (I can’t tell. Don’t be ashamed to stare deeply and try to analyze what’s goin’ on down there yourself.)
7 | The Little Mermaid
Continuing with Disney’s long history of allegedly slipping dirtiness into their products, here’s a scene from the ending of their Little Mermaid NES game.
It’s hard to tell exactly how much of Arial’s brand-new human buttocks are being shown here — it very well may be just a trace amount — but since it’s Disney, we’ll assume it’s a decent amount.
8 | Hot Slots, Peek-a-Boo Poker and Bubble Bath Babes
So these games fall into a different category than any of the others on the list. All three were unauthorized NES games produced by a Taiwanese company called Panesian, and were the only three “porno” games made for the system.
First up is Hot Slots, which appears to have been a painfully boring slot machine game. The cut scenes then show women in various states of undress making many, many sexual puns. (Did you know that a vagina can be referred to as a “slot”? ‘Cause this game is gonna punch you in the face with that particular slice of uninspired wordplay.)
Of all the games, the nudity seems the most graphic; in fact, below, I decided to include a non-nude cut screen, because many of the other ones out there really did seem too dirty to use.
Peek-A-Boo Poker is more of the same — some weak casino game action spliced in with some predictable 8-bit erotica. I like how they tried to turn the word “poker” into a sexual innuendo by naming a character “Pok-Er Penny.” That makes a lot more sense than Double Dealing Debbie. Are they saying she’s got large breasts, or she’s into threesomes and/or adultery?
And finally, there’s Bubble Bath Babes, which is kinda like Tetris… but with more awkwardly-shaped pieces and a nude woman sitting at the bottom of your tub. At least she wasn’t modeled after any of those questionable, questionable women from the box cover.
(This also made me flashback to a game that got rampantly passed around when I was in college — a Tetris knock-off where you had to match nude male and female “pieces” up in sexual positions. I gave up on the game because, as a Tetris and Dr. Mario aficionado, I felt the play control on Sextris was spotty at best.)
9 | Maniac Mansion
Maniac Mansion is famous for the amount of censorship it incurred — including, at one point, Nintendo objecting to an arcade game called Kill Thrill in the background of one scene, so the developers passive-aggressively changing the title to Tuna Diver.
Above is a pre-censoring screenshot of a nude female statue from the game.
I guess this would be a good chance to address a sub-thesis of this list: Pretty much none of this NES nudity is even remotely stimulating.
Like, even if you’re a 12-year-old boy with an inferno of hormones, are you really going to see this scene in Maniac Mansion, pause the game and really get to know yourself? (I’m talking about a 12-year-old boy back in 1990 when the game came out, by the way, not one today who has an unlimited supply of porn at his fingertips once he figures out his parents’ Net Nanny password is either his birthday, the dog’s name or the word “password.”)
I’m not saying that nudity should’ve stayed in these censored game because it’s harmless; I’m saying that it shouldn’t have been included in the first place because it’s pointless. (Other than, decades later, giving me fodder for an 11 Points list. Which I really do appreciate.)
10 | The Magic of Scheherazade
These NES breasts are scary, red and look like they’d be rock hard in a bad way… but, sad to say, I’ve actually seen even worse breasts than these. In person. Recently. (I was at the Clermont Lounge in Atlanta last week. If you’ve ever been, you know exactly what I’m getting at.)
11 | Kid Niki 3
This isn’t from the game Kid Niki: Radical Ninja — which I actually, regrettably played as a kid. It’s from a Japanese sequel that, inexplicably, had a level where the background featured a chubby kid peeing on you. Makes sense that this never made it to America — in a culture devoid of octopus porn and vending machines that sell used schoolgirl underwear, we can’t simply write off “getting peed on.”
Unless while it’s happening someone’s singing the remix to Ignition.
—
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Table Of Contents
Looking for the best Facebook games to play with your friends or when you are bored? This list is all you need.
This list doesn't feature every single Facebook game under the sun. Instead, it focuses on the best Facebook games to play in 2020.
You can play these games with your friends and when you are alone. All you need is an internet connection, a browser, and the time to get on a new adventure.
This list of Facebook games includes only free-to-play games, because you don't need to spend anything to have some good fun — if you know where to look for it.
Don't miss our top choices!
- WSOP Poker App is the official poker app of the World Series of Poker where you play real poker games with other people and start with a no deposit bonus of 1,000,000 free chips.
- Slotomania is the world's most downloaded collection of 'social' slot machine with exciting multi-player tournaments, missions, and more.
- House of Fun is exactly what the name says: a place where you find lots of exclusive games that are a lot of fun to play alone or with friends.
Some of the games you see on this page have reached millions of Facebook users already and continue to attract players with quality graphics and gameplay.
Many of them require logic, some rely on reflexes and quick decision making. Others, like you would expect from a site like PokerNews involve playing cards and are a great way to learn how to play poker.
Like our top choice..
1. WSOP Poker app
On a site like PokerNews, starting this list with the official World Series of Poker (WSOP) app is almost an obvious choice.
Start the game and choose between the very best poker games you can find on Facebook.
Got time to play? Work your way through the app and battle at the tables to win a real WSOP bracelet in the only online game allowed to give them away.
And if you like more fast-paced action, head to the site's free cash games to play Texas hold'em and Omaha. With more than 3.4 million users registered to the game's Facebook page alone, there's always someone ready to play with you.
2020 Update: Now Play with Your Friends!
What's great about the WSOP poker Facebook game is that you can also use it to play with your friends online!
To start a 'virtual home game' for free, just sit at a cash game table and click on the '+' sign next to the empty seat.
After that, you and your friends can play poker together on this fun, entertaining, and surprisingly realistic Facebook game.
When you register to play WSOP Poker on Facebook you also have daily missions to complete, with each of those bringing you more chips to conquer the tables later.
The game features special Multipliers, Momentum, Active Effects, and even more exciting elements that contribute to make it the most action-packed poker game we have seen on Facebook in a long time.
You can take advantage of Total Recalls for added chips while joining a Club serves as a leaderboard in the game. Upon reaching Grand Masters status, you'd be ready to take on WSOP events for real!
You can play on WSOP Poker via Facebook (on this page) or you can download their apps if you want to bring them to your mobile device.
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You receive a massive welcome bonus (i.e. no deposit free chips) as soon as you register — and there are new bonuses every day to refill your bankroll without spending any money.
2. Slotomania
The next one on our list of the top Facebook games to play in 2020 is Slotomania, a true icon in the world of free slots.
This popular Facebook game and comprehensive free-to-play mobile app by Playtika gathers titles with an array of different themes.
Be it fairytale-themed slots like Despicable Wolf or classic all-timers in the face of Rapid Fire, you'll definitely find your match.
There are daily quests, level-ups, and a ton of content to unlock as you play, so this app is never boring.
You will constantly receive free chips from various sources – even if you like to bet on the big side, you'd still have enough to go on.
Slotomania runs smoothly on the desktop via Facebook and mobile via its own dedicated mobile apps, making it among the finest additions to the list of Facebook games to play this year.
3. House of Fun
To conclude the podium, let's look at House of Fun, another massive hit coming from the Playtika's kitchens.
Available on Facebook and mobile devices, House of Fun is a collection of slot machines that features only exclusive games you won't find anywhere else on the internet.
Rather than giving you the same old Vegas slots, this game focuses on a totally different experience that, as the name says it's a lot of fun.
Just like Slotomania, there are quests and milestones to reach. Each of them boosts your account's volume, and let's face it – it's incredibly fun to spin and gather collectibles all the time.
You can even invite your Facebook friends and compete on who gets ahead faster!
All the action is free, so there's no need to spend any money on this game. You can buy additional coins if you want to, but we found that the amount of daily freebies is more than sufficient to stay busy for ages.
4. Clash of Clans
This Facebook game is as simple as it is addictive: you build a village, gather a clan, and enter glorious clan wars with other players.
With 10 million monthly users on average, you'll never run out of opponents to beat.
Fighting other clans, reinforcing your fortress, or simply gaining allies – all of that is presented with great graphics and smooth gameplay on one of the best Facebook games ever created.
5. Throne Rush
An easy to play massive multiplayer online role-playing game (MMROPG) title with friendly and intuitive gameplay.
If you are into strategy games and you like to take your time to think about every single move you take, Throne Rush is a great one to consider.
Labeled as one of the best Facebook games ever for strategy enthusiasts, this game sees you build a town center and various other buildings, train an army, and then fight against opponents from around the globe.
The visuals are very well well-designed and the battle simulations are super entertaining.
6. Zynga Poker
Going back to card games and casino-related content, Zynga's Hold 'em is one the most advanced poker games on Facebook.
Be it to test your skills or just rumble for chips, the app is designed to offer a good variety of games and a fair poker action.
You can complete quests and milestones, sit at High Roller tables, and measure your expertise with lots of other players.
Zynga Poker v WSOP Poker: What is the Best Game?
If you have been on Facebook for 15+ years, you know what Zynga poker is. This title pioneered the world of Facebook games brining free poker to the masses.
Back in the days, the glory and diffusion of Zynga poker made everyone feel it could disrupt the industry so much that the days of sites like PokerStars and partypoker were almost counted.
Then - the future turned out to be different.
Today's Zynga Poker is a much lesser ambitious Facebook game with a solid fans base, but not much more than that.
Compared to the WSOP Poker app and Facebook game, the Zynga one is inferior in terms of software and offer. Zynga's games are less realistic and Zynga players can't access any of the goodies (WSOP bracelets and WSOP rings) available on the WSOP Poker game.
7. Criminal Case
Criminal Case brings crime solving closer to online users with a terrific and popular Facebook game.
If you always guess who the murder is while watching a thriller on TV, this title might be your new favorite.
Following CIA and FBI-like onvestigations, this Facebook game allows you to slip into your detective self and catch bad guys without leaving your chair.
There are some in-game purchases but none of them is crucial to the game. Also, you you can gather in-game currency and upgrade your tools as you play.
8. NCIS: Hidden Crimes
Another crime puzzle game, NCIS: Hidden Crimes relies on your sharp mind to keep moving.
The game is serious, with realistic graphics and incredibly hard cases once you reach the higher levels.
Compared to Criminal Case, the NCIS game is a little bit more complex to solve, meaning you might not love it if you want some casual fun.
Otherwise, it's a brilliant Facebook game that will keep your brain seriously busy!
9. 8 Ball Pool
Drifting away from the casino and crime-solving genres for a bit, 8 Ball Pool is arguably the best pool game on Facebook at the moment.
Aside from the 10 million monthly users, the game packs amazing graphics and play-style. Playing is super simple as you can choose to aim at the balls using your skills.. or rely on the helping indicator for guaranteed precision.
Even if you haven't played pool in your life, the rules are well explained and easy to follow.
You can level up, challenge random opponents, or gather some friends and launch the app for a friendly competition. Either way, the title comes highly recommended!
10. Trivia Crack
Trivia Crack is simply an all-around question-and-answer Facebook game. You can challenge your Facebook friends and dive into a pool of endless knowledge.
Like the famous board game, this Facebook trivia game offers six sections to play in – Arts and Literature, Entertainment, History and Geography, Sports, Science, and Technology.
Be it for fun or to truly decide which one is the smartest between you and your friends, the game deserves a try.
11. Top 11 Football Manager
Sports, strategy, and countless efforts to become the best. If those sound like your game preferences, Top 11 Football Manager is the right fit for a competitive game session.
Reaching the top of the leaderboard doesn't come easy with this one.
From acquiring and training players to playing against the toughest opponents in real time, the app will keep you occupied. Try it out if you've always wanted to lead a football team to the greatest of victories!
12. Glow Hockey
One of the most simplistic, yet satisfying, Facebook games ever.
Glow Hockey resembles the renowned Air Hockey game – you aim to score in your opponent's goal whilst defending from their advances.
It is the true definition of a time-killer game. Of course, you can challenge your friends and become the best glow hockey player in the neighborhood!
13. Hero Wars
Going back in action game history, Hero Wars is a remastered 2D fighting game for iOS and Android.
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You are a noble hero, trying to save the so-called Guardians from evil demons and spirits. It is easy to play and advance in, so you won't spend hours just to beat a level.
If you love entering swift battles from hour to hour, this is a great pick to consider.
14. Global Strike
A classic example of first-person shooting game (FPS), Global Strike is a respectable option when you want to play games on Facebook.
Real-like weapons, detailed environment, and multiple game modes keep variety high in this one.
The app runs lightly and it can be launched directly through a browser.
There are app games with better graphics, but GS fits on all types of mobile devices, be it old or new.
15. Lies of Astaroth
We've reached a card-based app now – Lies of Astaroth combines sensible deck-building with strategic decisions during a fight.
Battling other players isn't as entertaining as Hearthstone, for example, but the game has its plus sides.
For instance, it runs so lightly, you could probably play it on a 10-year-old smartphone. In summary, check it out if you crave an old-school card game experience.
16. Agent Elf
Agent Elf is the sole definition of an endless runner to play on Facebook.
If you've ever played such a game (or have been left without an Internet connection), you'd know the aim of the game.
Run as fast as you can handle, go over obstacles, and gather multipliers for your progress.
The graphics are neat, you're wearing shades, and everything seems so light, you can almost feel yourself flying.
17. Subway Surfers
Another endless runner game, Subway Surfers is an advanced version of Agent Elf.
You're a cool kid, running away from an inspector while jumping over trains and other obstacles. The animations are truly mesmerizing, and you can run in 3D, gathering coins and reaching harder levels.
One of the best Facebook games in the genre offers game-related events, taking place at different times – those grant you bonus features and added content.
18. Monster Legends
Monster Legends has become somewhat of a classic nowadays. It's a multiplayer RPG, where your only goal is to raise a monster strong enough to defeat your enemies.
Each creature has different abilities, and you are free to enhance them however you like.
Level up your toothy army in order to smash even the most powerful of opponents. Battles are turn-based, you can use items, and even return to a field after upgrading your creatures.
19. CSR Racing
When it comes to free games to play with friends, CSR Racing is a top-notch choice.
It features a series of drag races to explore alone or with opponents. The more you win, the more vehicles you add to your collection.
Upgrades are in place, such as nitrous oxide, massive engines, and better tires. Be it a story-related session or random PVP races, you'll have fun with this one.
20. SimCity BuildIt
SimCity BuildIt is a great Facebook game where you get an entire town to develop and make into yours. It looks like a classic SimCity title, but includes elements from Farmville and other popular Facebook games.
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The main target for your characters is to gather resources and use them to build different constructions.
Wood, steel, plastic, lumber, nails, and more are up for grabs for your factories, commercial stores, and residential buildings.
21. MMA Pro Fighter
MMA Pro Fighter is primal, intense, and aimed at a full-on fighting brawl for the Championship belts.
You can choose to play versus strangers or invite your friends to try it out. Fighting simulations in the app are realistic and extremely engaging. You are free to customize your character, train, and challenge more powerful opponents to test your progress.
22. Bejeweled Blitz
A more advanced version of Candy Crush, this one hits players with harder puzzles and shorter time frames.
It's perfect for short gameplay sessions, but prolonged play may make you dizzy.
Nonetheless, this doesn't seem to stop over 120 million monthly users. You can battle all of them while chasing the highest possible score on each puzzle!
23. Mob Wars
Played by over 12 million users, Mob Wars opens the door to exciting mob-themed events on your smartphone.
Join a crime family, do dirty jobs, board airplanes, and engage in full-on crime boss battles. There are bounty rewards for valuable characters and players, as well.
Truly among the best Facebook games to master!
24. Farmville 2
Although this is probably not the type of game you'd expect to find featured on PokerNews, it would be a surprise if you didn't know Farmville 2.
This 3D title became one of Facebook's most popular games already some years ago and has since then taken Facebook players by storm.
The game developers have ensured enough room to explore even for the most dedicated virtual farmers.
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Around 5 million players engage in a Farmville 2 session monthly. You can raise animals, harvest crops, cook delicious meals, and much, much more.
Being a free game lets users of all ages around the world play it seriously – the improved graphics and added quests make it a worthy ancestor of the original Farmville!
25. Candy Crush Saga
Last, but not least, a true legend in the world of Facebook games.
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With over 50 million monthly users, Candy Crush Saga packs nearly 1000 levels to face and complete.
Solving various puzzles requires a sharp mind and quick fingers. You have access to the first few levels for free – defusing bombs and matching candies don't come funnier than that.
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Once you invite friends to join you, you'll be able to continue on your quest to the higher levels.